A Lesson From a 10 Year Old
August 31, 2007
It was cold. The wind was blowing steady; I could see the trees dancing around the neighborhood. I watched out of the window of my house as I saw three young boys bouncing up the street. I really wasn't looking for them, rather I was actually watching a young man who had wondered up and had been standing on the corner for quite some time. People walk around our neighborhood a lot. It's just how folks get from one place to another when you don't have a car. I continued to watch this scene unfold growing more and more nervous as their paths seemed inevitable to cross. Not that I'm stereotyping anyone, but I've been in our neighborhood long enough to understand what a fellow like the one on the corner was up to. Illegal activity wasn't too far away from him. And here came 3 children full of life, innocent and about to suddenly be face-to-face with someone who obviously wasn't giving thought to their well-being. As I watched, I knew it would happen and reality came just as I predicted. A car rounded the corner, pulling up to this man. By this time the boys were only feet away on the sidewalk. The driver of the car leaned over to the passenger window, exchanged a bag and money, and was on his way quickly. The boys watched nonchalantly as they walked. They had to be no older than 10 and their next step truly surprised me. Hands went up, high fives were exchanged with the man and they kept on their way. I kept on watching as if I hadn't witnessed this scene. This sad reality took minutes to set in, but slowly it started to make sense to me. These boys didn't see illegal activity or something that was bad. They just saw someone they knew on their way home from school. They did what they did with all their buddies, say hello. The streets they are growing up on do not teach them to be afraid of this behavior or the implications of what this activity will bring. Yes they learn about "just saying no" at school, but they somehow, for now anyway, can separate the behavior from the one behaving badly. This was a curious snapshot into life in the city. As I thought about my reaction, I realized that these children were going to come close to a drug dealer and I wanted to run save them. But in reality, they see this day-in-day-out, its part of their culture and it's no big deal to them. If I would have run out of my house to them, they would have been more afraid of a big white man running toward them than they were of this obvious drug dealer. Was I wrong for feeling this way? Should I have been even more angry at the fact that they didn't see the danger of being close to this activity? Or should I be embarrassed that I couldn't decide what to feel? Maybe they didn't know what he was doing and it was ok? Continuing to process this whole scene, I thought about how it was good that these kids knew this guy because maybe he wouldn't hurt them and maybe he would even try and protect them. I thought about how they see this stuff all the time and at a young age they were learning to choose between good and bad. Suddenly I caught myself, what was I thinking….How could any of this be good? It does seem odd that these young kids were so forgiving of this bad behavior. I've come to know that kids in the city do know wrong from right and that they do understand what bad behavior looks like. They are just more accepting of those that are acting badly than I am. I've seen many children growing up in bad conditions in the city that don't end up acting badly themselves. I have somehow learned to be tolerant of those that have made bad choices. Please hear me when I say that this letter is not one that advocates our being ok with drug dealers, prostitutes, thieves or the like. They are what they are. But as I've continued to understand the life of Jesus and how He lived, I see Him much more like these three children than like me. Jesus seemed to know how to embrace sinners, to eat with them, to walk with them. Really the only ones He seemed judgmental toward were the religious folks, those that look down their noses at others that broke the rules. He understood that grace, acceptance and love were much more likely to produce change than condemnation and unacceptance. To be clear, He never condoned bad behavior, but he seemed to know how to see past it to the more important issue; that all people have been created by His Father to be in a right relationship with Him. You might say, "He loved the sinner but hated the sin". Wow, there's a lot about this lesson that I don't like. It means that I need to change as much as the drug dealer. In God's eyes, sin is sin….and I must admit that I'm a sinner. I have a lot to learn and allowing three little inner-city boys to be my teachers is challenging, but obviously necessary. Thanks fellows for our first lesson…I'll be looking forward to our next session.
Cityscapes is written by Chris Martin, President, Knoxville Leadership Foundation.
